The end is near...

So you have all read my many posts about my ILs, specifically about my MIL.   Before I continue with this post, I just want to make it clear for all the past posts and any future posts.  As horrible as they treat Hubby and I and as much as we bitch about them, that is pretty much as far as it will go from our side.  

I use this blog as my sort of public journal.   For all, but them, to read.  Its my place where I can write what Im feeling and thinking and that be the end of it.   The Dear MIL letters I have written in the past and have thought about for future posts, are just blog posts.   This is place for me to write it, you to see it, be entertained by their craziness and comment on it.

As much as I would like to tell my ILs that they are about to lose a relationship with Hubby and I and any future children we have, unlike them, I am unable to cut ties with family members and have my children grow up without their (crazy) grandparents if they are alive and well.   I say unlike them because that is important in this post.  

The background on the "unlike them" part is that they have cut ties with almost all family except for Hubby and Hubby's brother and his family.   They have cut ties with MILs sisters and their family and hate the fact that we recently have chosen to have a relationship with them.   They have a bad relationship with MILs father and significant other, and treat them like crap and hate that we all chose to have a relationship with them.   And the only reason they even have a (bad) relationship with MILs father is because he continues to make the effort, and is the only one to do so - g-d forbid she contacts him.   They barely talk to FILs brother and family anymore, although they haven't been completely cut off like MILs family.    FILs mother is in a nursing home and Id be shocked to find out that he visits her even once a month.     FILs cousins have not been cut out, but they don't talk to them.   They were invited to our wedding, but wedding festivities is/are the only time I have seen them in my entire time with Hubby.

So now that you understand all of that...

It looks like the end is near in regards to our relationship and our future childrens relationship with my ILs.    Hubby received an email yesterday from his dad that pretty much trashed me, called hubby cruel and made an attempt to end a relationship with us.   Here is the last paragraph from the email:

I do not know you any more and I am sad at the cold cruel person you have become. I thought we raised better than the person you have become. The time has come for you make a decision. All I ask is that you do it soon so Mom and I can move on with our lives with or without you and Lynda in it.

I drafted a response for Hubby to edit and send (hubby isn't good with those things, so I start them off and then let him go from there).   As of 2 hours ago, he said the letter is perfect as is, but isn't sure what he wants to do yet, so I think its still sitting in drafts.

The letter is not cruel like theirs and pretty much says that it is up to them to accept us for who we are, and we will never make a decision to cut anyone out of our family, but if that is what they want, then they can make that decision.    It also says that if they chose not to make that decision, then they need to learn to treat us with the respect that we deserve, and, as always, the same courtesy will be returned to them.

I was taught that you are born into a family, and you don't get to chose them, you accept them for who they are.   We bitch about them, but we understand this concept.   I just wish they would understand that.

Response to my IL

So my MIL just (finally) responded to the invite that she received, but claims she never saw.    I only saw this response because a friend alerted me to the response and specifically commented on how much of an ass they are for that response.   With that, I decided I was going to email her, and then I really started to be a bitch and I know I can't send it, but I also can't tame it down - so maybe you all can help me tame it down?   Here is what I have so far (as you can tell, I finally hit my point with them, and as you can also tell, my very violent response highlighted in my last point is not the direction I would really go when I hit my point, and instead I would go in this direction).

I just wanted to let you know that your hostility-filled response is not just seen by Adam and I - its seen by everyone on the invite.    And in all honesty the only reason I actually saw it is because I had multiple friends who saw your response and emailed me about it to see what your issue was.  

 

Furthermore, although you guys didn't see the invitation until 12/12, this invite was sent out to you at the same time it was sent out to everyone else - 2 months ago.    When I re-sent you the invitation on 12/12, it was exactly that.   I had to do a re-send, not invite someone new.   I'm sorry that you somehow did not see the original invitation, but that is not a reason to take it out on us and start a new fight up with Adam.    

 

Lastly, this email was sent solely by me, so when you have an issue with it, take it up with me - not with Adam.   I'm sick of you guys constantly emailing and calling him to yell at him when most of your issues boil down to me.    Ive about had enough of it and your childish antics.  

Don't worry - I didn't press send, I just closed out the email, but I really do want to say something - and specifically let them know that their antics are being seen by others outside of us - and by their own accord.

I guess it could be worse...

So a co-worker just sent me this article about bad in-laws...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/12/bad-in-laws-tweeters_n_1140357.html?icid=maing-grid7|maing7|dl20|sec3_lnk1|119587#s533942&title=Jonna

Can't go a week without IL drama...

I interrupt this work day to give you breaking news on the IL front.   Okay not breaking news, but I am giving up my lunch hour, but it is also for my own sanity and well being.   My ability to blog on these matters give me the opportunity to release my frustrations and move on to the next task at hand.

So 2 months ago, I sent out evites to Hubby and my 2nd Annual Christmukah Party - and as I always do on any invitation where family is involved, I unfortunately invited my ILs.   And as always happens, they never RSVPd to the invite.    By this point though - after not RSVPing to our Thanksgiving celebration and then planning their own, I gave up on following up, and just assumed they had other plans.

So this past weekend they asked my BIL if they could take out their kids, and BIL said they had our party, but they could take them out during the day and bring them to the party.   Well FIL and MIL acted as if they had no clue what BIL was talking about.   

A couple days later Hubby responded to an email about a different matter, and decided to ask whether they were coming, and they said they had no clue what we were talking about, that they were never invited.   So a bunch of emails and 2 phone calls later, its settled - they were invited, but didn't see the invite, we resent it last night.

Then this morning, in the middle of catching up from 3 days out of the office, I see a couple missed calls from Hubby and I call him back.   MIL is upset that they were an afterthought and not invited (reminiscent of THE BIG fight back in June prior to the existence of this blog) and wants us to come over to discuss (ie - to start up a new fight).   I told Hubby we can discuss later.   Actually, my exact words were - "I want to go out and buy a gun and kill your mom".   Don't worry, I would never do that, Im not full of that level of violence and it would be MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to just tell them to F*** Off and cease having any relationships with them.   But that too will have to wait until Hubby and I both have the guts to have that conversation.

Anyways, so I just checked my email on my lunch break to find an email forwarded to Hubby from his brother.    FIL sent an email to BIL this morning stating that "As of last night we were not invited and Adam confirmed this over the phone this morning.   We feel very excluded.".   LIES, LIES, LIES!!   Last night, Hubby confirmed that they were invited, and I resent the invitation to them.   At no point did Hubby ever say they weren't invited.  And if you feel excluded from OUR holiday party - then talk to us about it - not someone else.

Oh - and not only were you not excluded, but now you have a taste of your own medicine from when you excluded us from your competing Thanksgiving celebration and your family Hanukah celebrations.

Looks like the holidays are off to a great start...can't wait til we actually have to see them...maybe I should drink a bottle of wine and tell them how I really feel...

An update to the most recent MIL saga

As expected my MIL freaked out when I responded to my BILs email saying "the reason we never responded was because we were never actually invited".

Completely unexpected was that she actually responded to me.   Well partially.   She responded to me and said that Hubby and I were most certainly invited - she sent an email to Hubby and BIL to check on dates.   Also, that the dates I recommended (Monday before Christmas, Monday after Christmas) wouldn't work because FIL teaches on Mondays.

She then emailed Hubby an invitation for hanukkah (see, we were invited...) and then emailed Hubby a separate email saying they would look at the calendar and see what can be arranged, that we were most certainly invited, despite my response to BILs email, and that they wanted Hubby to call MIL because they "are quite upset at this turn of events".   Then MIL called Hubby 3 times that morning.

At the same time, SIL asked if I wanted them to push the Monday thing, or if I just wanted to get out of going.   I told her not to worry about it, but she decided to push it and here are the responses they got:
- FIL teaches class that night (the night after Christmas)
Oh, schools are closed for holiday break?   Then...
- FIL has a faculty meeting that night (again - the night after Christmas)
Oh, you say that's the day after Christmas?  Then...
- MIL has a faculty reception that night (not only the night after Christmas, but she works at a catholic school)

Then she went on to tell SIL and BIL that with family's growing, we can't always be together for the holidays because we have other family committments.

So let's review:
- The email MIL claims to have sent to Hubby and BIL was ONLY sent to BIL, and only had BILs email address on it, not hubby's. (again, because they don't care about us since we don't have offspring)
- The invite that was sent after I pointed out that we weren't invited, was sent AFTER the fact, therefore it just doesn't count!
- MIL continues to make craptastic excuses as to what they have on that Monday after Christmas - No one is working or has a holiday reception when you work for a community college and a catholic college!   I bet a lot of money that I could drive by their house that night, and they would both be home doing nothing.
- MIL continues to use the excuse of "as family's grow we can't all get together for holidays".   This is the second time that we weren't invited to a holiday function (in my opinion, completely on purpose) and then MIL eventually used this excuse about families growing and not always being able to spend holidays together. 
- Subpoint - my sisters are able to spend the holidays with both sides of the family and their families on both sides are the same size or larger.   Do any of you have both sides living in the same town, and just can't see them both for some reason?
 
The final result is that we will not be seeing them for the holiday, BUT I guarantee we receive an email or phone call in the next couple weeks asking when we are gonna come see them...

P.S. Look out in the next week for my "Dear MIL" letters that I would love to send!

Waiting for the phones to start ringing

I just replied to an email with a good deal of inferred attitude towards my MIL and I know the phones will start a-ringing as soon as she reads the email.

I got an email from my SIL this morning asking if we were ever invited to celebrate Hanukkah with my ILs because they were invited with a variety of dates to choose from and when they responded asking whether we were invited my ILs said that they have not heard back from us.

Guess why they never heard back??   You should be able to guess really easily. 

Ready to see if you guessed right?   Im confident you probably did.

We never responded because we were never invited!!  No phone calls, no emails, no nothing.  

My BIL responded to MILs email and included us in on it to say what worked for them and ask us.   I then responded to all thanking my BIL for inviting us and bluntly stating "we never responded because we were never actually invited".   Unlike my MIL, I was taught not to lie - so I just stated the truth - maybe with a little attitude, but oh well, Im sick of their lies.

Let's see if she faces the truth head on and calls Hubby to yell at Hubby (ie us) and say how untrue that is (she lies so much she believes her own lies) and say how rude it is or if she hides from the truth and just ignores the email because she knows we caught her in the lie.   I guess the former.   Whatever the case, she will never actually face me about it - she is too afraid of me :)

Can I trade in laws with someone?!?!

PLEASE?!?!?!   Does any want to deal with CRAZY over-the-top in laws.   You might think yours are crazy, but they can't be worse then mine, and it would be a much welcome break for me to have normal crazy for even a short period of time over CRAZY crazy.

So here's the newest story that everyone is itching to hear about after my facebook updates since last night.    Ill take you back to the "beginning".   My first year dating my hubby, my ILs invited us and my family over to their house for dinner.    Two years ago, my ILs invited us over again, but this time had a larger group of people.   Then last year, our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, his parents decided not to do anything because it was the year that my BIL/SIL spend with her side of the family.    (That is one of many signs that they don't care about their kids/significant others, they only care about our offspring, which we don't have yet, but my BIL/SIL do.)

So last year, we decided to take on the hosting of the Thanksgiving dinner, but we turned it into a lunch - as MANY people in America do a lunch or an EARLY dinner.  My ILs attended, even asked if they could invite a friend (we of course said yes, but she didn't come).  Everyone had such a great time, that we decided to host it again this year.   Hubby told his parents this back in the summer and we sent the invite out 2 weeks ago.

My SIL checked in last week to see if I heard back from them yet - and I hadn't - because they had emailed them to make sure they weren't doing anything, and were just planning on attending my Thanksgiving lunch.   So after BIL/SIL continued to try and figure out what ILs are doing, so that my SIL could finalize plans to attend the luncheon - she finally got an answer.

My ILs decided they are gonna do a dinner because its more traditional and they want to invite their friend.   And they pretty much are expecting my SIL and her family to attend the dinner at 5pm after my lunch that is called for 1:30pm.

I'm sorry - WTF!    I understand that some people jump from Thanksgiving function to function so that they can spend part of the day with all of their family - but those are different sides of the family - not within the same F'ing family.    If your son is hosting a Thanksgiving luncheon - why in g-d's name do you feel the need to host a dinner 3 and a half hours later?!?!?

So I found out about this dinner (of which we weren't invited to) last night as I was getting ready for my sisters Bachelorette party and hubby was getting ready for my future brother-in-laws bachelor party - so it didn't really get to really sink in until today.

So today, I had Hubby call his parents to discuss this situation:
- First off - still no rsvp from them - which I do have to say isn't necessary yet - as its a month away, and the invite has only been out for 2 weeks, but if you know you aren't gonna come because you are gonna back stab us - at least say so
- Second off - you don't even give us the decency to let us know you don't care that we are gonna host a family function, and you are gonna "compete" with us
- Thirdly - Your own son isn't invited to your "traditional" thanksgiving family dinner?!?!?  Its just your offspring who provided grandkids and your best friend?  
- Finally - Did you ever think about how rude you are being - and how if this was turned around how PO'd you'd be with us - and how you would be so "hurt and devastated" that family could do this to you?  (please note - this is NOT how I feel, but this is exactly how my MIL would tell us she feels if the tables were turned).

Wanna guess how the call went?

It ended up being two calls (Shocker!).   The first one (around 4:30pm today), MIL couldn't come up with a story quick enough, so she said that reception was bad and they would talk later.

The second one came around 8:15pm tonight - MIL calling hubby back.   This one was clearly more rehearsed.

Overall this is what was taken out of the conversation(s):
- They didn't know about our lunch until a couple days ago because they didn't see the evite (total bullshit, because one of the great things about evite is that I can at least see when people have viewed the invite - or that they haven't - and MIL viewed it 10 days ago.   Additionally BIL/SIL emailed them to see if they were coming to my place, so they saw that too.
- They didn't invite us because they assumed that we wouldn't be able to go.   Then when Hubby called them out on that, they said they didn't make that assumption, but that we know we are always invited to their place - and we have keys to let ourselves in.    Then they tried to cover their tracks by saying they didn't invite anyone, they didn't even invite BIL/SIL (BULLSHIT - how do they think we know about this?!?!)
- They always host Thanksgiving dinner every other year and invite their/her best friend, and we should know that.   But they understand that we can't come because now that we are married, we have to spend time with my side of the family.   (Yup - they decline our invite and put it on us).

Blah blah blah.   Pretty much, they are acting as if they did nothing wrong, and they understand that we can't spend all the holidays with them.   But of course we are still invited, and can make our final decision all the way up through that day and that they will try to stop by ours.

Oh - I should add that I really tried hard not to make them feel alienated, so I didn't invite my MILs father or sisters and their families (if you don't know the story - long story...short of it is my MIL refuses to talk to her family for absolutely no real reason) even though I really wanted to.  

Right now I really want to tell them that if the tables were turned we would be getting our asses handed to us on a silver platter by them and they would be bitching and moaning about how thoughtless and rude we are and how much we hurt them.   And continue with letting them know I'm done with the games, I plan to make no attempts to sugarcoat anything anymore and make things harder on me to make it easier on them.    And that we probably won't ever see them again, because ALL family will be invited to all events from here on out.

Unfortunately, as "in-your-face" as I can be, I don't have the guts to seperate hubby and our future children from these people Im supposed to call mom and dad.   Additionally, they still have credit card debt on OUR credit card - and at the rate they are going, it will take 3 more years to pay off what could easily be paid off in 3 months AT MOST - and Im just not willing to take on that extra $450 debt.

So any takers on the trading in-laws thing??

What it takes to handle my MIL

Back in early September, I wrote about how my ILs made such a big deal about us seeing them, but yet they didn't make the effort to see ushttp://lifes-like-a-box-of-chocolates.blogspot.com/2011/09/its-important.html.    Well, we ended up inviting them over for a barbecue the very next Saturday, and amazingly, they took us up on the offer and came over.  

When I know I'm gonna see my MIL, I get very "anxious" because I know the ball will drop during the visit and they will bring up some issue they have with how we live our lives or cause some disagreement of sorts.   Additionally, its virtually impossible to have any sort of conversation with my MIL - yet she expects to have this amazing mother/daughter relationship (eventually I’ll tell that story when I have the time).

The only thing I dislike more than these scenarios is going over to their place because it’s the same scenario PLUS they make dinner which consists of one of two things:

-          Overcooked bone-in and skin-on chicken.  Many people like bone-in and skin-on, but I prefer boneless and skinless because it takes less cooking time (therefore less likely that my mother-in-law will overcook) and is much healthier.  And for me to say the chicken is  overcooked is a BIG understatement!   It sits in the oven for like 3 plus hours.

-          Barbecue chicken LOADED with barbecue sauce cooked on a charcoal grill that they don’t know how to use properly.   This means that the chicken typically gets served to you completely raw on the inside and completely charred on the outside

-          For both of these entrée’s, our sides consist of either:

o   Raw green beens loaded with olive oil – which isn’t horrible, but once in a while, but all the time is annoying.

o   Lettuce and no healthy salad dressing choices – not salad or even a spring mix, just iceberg lettuce

This means, hubby and I leave their house completely annoyed because we are starving and had a bad night – so we usually try to stop at Wawa or Subway right after – but we are already cranky.

Anyways, back to the story.  

Since they were coming over for dinner, I figured I would drink some wine to make it a bit easier to handle them.   I planned to have a glass of wine before they came over, and expected them to come a full 30 minutes earlier then the time we invited them to come (my MIL got to my sisters bridal shower FORTY-FIVE minutes earlier than it was called for, so we were all setting up).   Amazingly, they got to our house right when they said they would - which was a complete shock.  

Since I expected them earlier, I started my drinking earlier, so by the time they got there, I had finished 2 and a half glasses of wine (I was drinking Francis Ford Coppola Pinot Noir – so its really easy to just keep drinking) and very little to eat, suffice it to say I had a good buzz going.   When they got there, I was much more friendlier than usual from the get-go because I was much more relaxed.    Over the course of the next hour or so, I ended up drinking the last 2 glasses of wine left in the bottle (oops!), but I was never quite drunk – as I was starting to eat and I have a high tolerance.

In the end, the night ended up going very smoothly and conversation was fine.   Of course my MIL had very little part in the conversation, it was really my husband, FIL and I.  

So apparently the best way to handle my ILs is to knock back a bottle of wine.  

It's important...

I try to only publish one post a day, and when I have lots to say, I save them for posts during the week, as I don't have time to sit and write every night.    But the craziness with Adam's parents called for a special Labor Day double posting.   So without further ago...

Adam and I hosted a Labor Day (Weekend) Barbecue on Sunday and had sent the invitations out WAY in advance to try and get better attendance (no luck with that - but oh well!).  Anyways, we sent the invite out back in mid-June and never got ANY response from his parents.   Now mind you, we were pretty sure they weren't going to come because we invited the rest of her family.    I had sent a few updates out within the last month because of a date change and I was trying to finalize numbers, and still no response from them. 

Then on Friday morning - two days before the barbecue, they finally responded - with of course a no response - I imagine they got the final reminder from evite, to actually spurn their response.   Later that morning, Adam got a call from his mom (really two) - the jist of the call(s) being that she wanted to know when we were gonna go to see them and complaining that they never see us and how she is hurt - blah, blah, blah*.

Then on Sunday morning Adam got a text from his dad saying that if we weren't going to the Phillies game on Monday, then he would like for us to come over and that its really important to him.   It took us a while to figure out the best way to respond to the text.   We were going to the Phillies game, but its not an all day affair (its a night game for that matter) and Im sick of this back and forth about it always being our fault, so I wanted to open ourselves up to seeing them.   But I wasn't gonna allow it to be on their terms, cause they have to learn (I know - that phrase is funny!) that its not all about them, and they have to compromise.

We had plans to go visit Adam's mom-mom in the nursing home that morning, so we texted FIL back (8 hours later..) to let him know we were going to the game, but that it was a night game, and we had plans to visit mom mom that morning, but they were more than welcome to come visit us between the two plans.   No response that night (even though Im fairly positive he saw it).   No response by 8am, even though I know they don't sleep past 6:30am.    No response by 10am. 

Finally, while we were with mom-mom, we heard back from FIL around 10:30am.   The response?  Call us when you get home, it depends on the weather. 

When we never heard back from them last night, we made plans to stop at our favorite burger joint, Five Guys, on the way home from visiting mom-mom, so we still did that, and when leaving there (at noon) we called FIL to let him know that we were leaving and would be home in 20 minutes if they wanted to come over.   The response?  

There is a flood warning, so call us when you get home and then we will decide.    Yes that's right - in that 20 minutes it would take us to get home (the same amount of time it would take them to get on the road), the sky's were just gonna open wide and start POURING down rain and cause mass flooding across the entire region and they were gonna be stuck in the middle of the turnpike when this happened!   

20 minutes later, when we get home and called them to let them know that we were home - the response? 

What time are you leaving for the Phillies game?   When we told them 4:30ish, they decided, immediately with no discussion, that they weren't gonna come because they didn't want to feel rushed.    They were clearly just looking for excuses, because it wasn't raining, and they didn't even have the time to discuss whether it was worth coming over in that time frame.    To put it into perspective, this conversation happened at 12:30, so even if they didn't leave until 1:30, they would get to us at 2:15 and have just over 2 hours to see us.    The conversation between the 4 of us would have been done in 15 minutes, so the level of uncomfortableness would have gotten to the point of them leaving well before 4:30pm.

Pretty much what it comes down to is:
- We don't make any efforts to see them unless we specifically drive over there to see them and only them - it doesn't count if its a family dinner and everyone is there.   Otherwise, any other attempts or visits (kids bday parties, barbecue for family and friends, offer to come to our house, etc) just don't count.
- They only want to see us to tell us what we are doing wrong, and they only feel comfortable treating us like little kids and chiding us when we sit on their sofa, in their house, in their comfort zone - with no place to go except listen to them chide and criticize our decisions and choices.

And yet they wonder why we never want to go see them...

*I saw them the week prior at the boys bday party - which they ran out of as soon as cake was served and the gifts were opened because it started to drizzle and they didn't want to get stuck in the hurricane on their 10 minute drive home. 

Everyones favorite topic to read about - my in-laws

Based on the stats that I can track through blogger - the topic people most enjoy reading about is my in-laws - and how couldn't you - they are just that crazy and ridiculous its so funny and enjoyable to read about. 

So I'm gonna try to write a weekly post about their craziness.   Since I'm currently in the middle of a really good streak of not seeing or talking to them, Ill be going back into the 3 year vault of stories for some of these weekly posts :) 

Thinking about it, I think the last time we saw them was for the "pizza party" that MIL threw for FIL in the beginning of July.    That's right - Ive gone almost 2 months without seeing or talking them - and its been wonderful!  Of course, during that time, Adam has gotten calls from them bitching about me on numerous occasions - but alas, its impossible to be completely free of their craziness.   Unfortunately, that streak will be broken on Saturday for the sake of attending the joint birthday party of my nephews - but I'm sure the few hours spent with them will provide for some entertaining stories later...

Since I mentioned the pizza party - I guess Ill start with that topic for this post.   Back in the end of June, we received a card in the mail.   When I looked at it, it had no return address (which was a sure sign it came from the in-laws, cause my MIL refuses to put a return of address on things she sends - or at least to us, which is one of my many small pet peeves with them).   But I wasn't sure cause I could tell that there was a kids party invitation inside.   We were 2 months away from any of the nieces or nephews birthdays, so I was really confused.   I finally opened it up - and it WAS from my ILs.   It was an invitation in the shape of a pizza slice - and for a pizza party for my FILs bday.   SERIOUSLY?!?!?   First off - the invitations was circa 1990 - and if it really wasn't that old - then that's just more pathetic.   Second off - the invitation went out to a whole TWO freaking people - Adam and I and my SIL and BIL.   Just f*ing call us and invite us over for dinner for his bday, don't make some stupid big deal with a childish invitation.   

Unfortunately, we had no plans, and I knew we had to go, so I had Adam call to RSVP, but let them know we would be late, as they are calling the party for 5pm - and Adam doesn't get off work until 5pm.  He still has to come home, change/clean up and we have another 45 minute drive to get to their house - so we wouldn't be there until 6:30ish.   Im pretty sure they weren't thrilled we were coming late - but work has priority in this instance over some childish attempt to invite us over.

Party day eventually arrives - and Adam calls to let them know we will be leaving shortly, and guess what - they went out to dinner with my SIL, BIL and nephews and were gonna bring home a pizza for us.    I knew they were gonna eat before we got there, because they eat dinner crazy early and it annoys me that they don't have the decency to wait for us when they invite us over - but I'm somewhat used to it now.   But seriously - you take everyone else out to dinner to order whatever they want and then bring home a pizza and keep it in a warm oven for us?

We of course still went, and I didn't eat anything or really talk to them much because a) I was trying to be healthy and didn't want pizza and b) I was annoyed at them.   

My MIL must have asked me if I wanted pizza about 6 times - 5 of those times I politely said, no thank you, Im fine for now, and continued to play with the boys.    On the 6th and final time, I finally had enough of the same question and gave some attitude with my answer - which clearly annoyed FIL and MIL - but MIL FINALLY stopped asking.     Although that wouldn't be the end of it...

The next morning Adam got a call from MIL pretty much asking what my issue was.   If you have an issue with me, "man up" and bring it up to me - not to Adam. 

Why can't I just have normal in-laws?   I know they provide good entertainment and stories - but they get to me.  I hate how the thought of them or sound of their name is like fingernails on a chalkboard....

Dear FIL and MIL...

Dear FIL and MIL,

Have you ever noticed that you have better relationships with your friends than you do with any of your family members?!?   Im not sure how your friends are actually friends with you, except that you treat them completely differently.  

If this is the case than I highly recommend you consider treating your family members like you do your friends.

The reason we never call you or visit you is because we only get in trouble for doing SOMETHING whenever we see you (and for that matter when we don't).    Its not enjoyable for us to make arrangements on one of the 2 nights we have together just to be miserable and get in trouble for whatever the issue of the day is.

You want us to have a great relationship with you, but we refuse to put up with your BS, so either you can straighten up and treat us nicely, or you can risk losing another familial relationship, which would leave you with what - 2 familial relationships?

Sincerely,
Lynda

P.S. Sending nasty emails to "reintroduce" yourself to your son is immature, rude and completely unnecessary (kinda like this post - except this at least will provide stress-relief for me, entertainment for others and theoretically, you'll never see it).

Saturday Evening - Part 2 - Melting Pot and the aftermath

So in trying to figure out where to go after Taste, we had talked about going to the Melting Pot for their patio special, but we weren't sure if it was going to be too hot to do that.   In the end, it ended up being fine, and we went to the Melting Pot.   By the time we got there it was 7:30ish, so the heat had died down and they had umbrella's to try and minimize the heat from the sun that was still up.  

I'm not sure about the Melting Pot's near everyone else, but the one near us in Warrington has this great deal going right now, and I highly recommend it.    Its called Pinot on the Patio. For $20 per person you get a glass of Pinot Grigio or Pinot Noir, Cheese Fondue and Dessert Fondue.   For Melting Pot - that is a great deal.  


I was pleasantly impressed with the Pinot Noir - I kinda just expected it to be a crappy house Pinot.   Not sure what type it was, but it was good. 

For the cheese fondue, we ordered the spinach and artichoke.   It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great.   Of course you never would have guessed that the way we cleaned the fondue bowl - but then again, that was our dinner.

For the dessert fondue we had the Disarrono Meltdown.   This was yummy!   It was white chocolate and Disarrono Amaretto."flambeed" tableside.   There was no flambeeing tableside - the dude didn't even let it warm up before he left.  With all that being said, by the time we let it warm up - it was good.

So all in all a good evening out with some good company.   And then came the aftermath. 

The FIL ran into the Uncle and he innocently mentioned that we were out together the night before. So my husband got a call from the FIL about how Im tearing him apart from the family (not even gonna get started on this part) and how upset he is that we don't choose to spend our social time with them.  

Does anyone else make plans to go out for drinks and dinner with their parents or in-laws?   I go to Phillies games with my mom, and my parents make a family dinner every Sunday night, but I don't make plans to go out with my folks - and I surely don't have any intention to do it with my in-laws.    With other family members that are closer in age to us and that we consider friends - yes!   With family members that are banned by the ILs - yes, cause thats the only way we see them.   With friends - OF COURSE!  

MIL

I know, i know - watch what you post online - because it is there forever and anyone can see it.   Now that that is out of the way....this will be the first of many posts about my MIL.

Yesterday I came home to a strange envelope in the mail.   It was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. A. Needleman and had no return address (but I should have recognized the writing).   I could see inside and see there was a bday invite for a kids party - but all the kids bdays are far enough away that we shouldn't be getting an invite at this point.    So I open it up - and there was a card in the shape of a pizza slice with the design of a pizza slice on one side.   I turn it over to the other side - and we are invited to celebrate "DADs Birthday" on "July 9" at "5pm" at "Mom and Dads House".   No joke - it took me a minute to really comprehend that we were just invited to a 60+ year olds birthday party in a manner that I would have expected to be invited to a bday party for a classmate in the second grade.    The invite was even so cheap looking that it looked like it had been sitting in storage since I was in the second grade.

So yeah - not really sure what else to say - except "yeah....."