Wednesdays web round-up - Family and Parenting - Part 1

I've been saving links over the last week, and the majority of the ones that I found worthy of sharing this week are almost all related to family life and parenting - but there are so many, that Ill be splitting it into 2 posts over the next two weeks.   Hope you enjoy the links and my thoughts on each


http://herscoop.com/posts/empowering-photo-series/
I whole-heartedly agree with this campaign.  I obviously have my own opinions on each topic - as we all do - but I also respect everyone's decision on how they parent.   I personally choose not to give my kids juice because of all the sugar or feed them fast food.  But, I will freely admit that there are times you can't help yourself.   My kids had their first McDonalds meal on Friday when we were on the road - there just was no other place to stop - they LOVED their chicken nuggets, but also enjoyed the sliced apples that came along with it and barely touched the fries.   On the other hand - I also let my kids (reasonably) cry it out and was glad to get back to work and have adult interaction.   Whatever decision we make is the perfect decision - because it was perfect for us!   As long as you are not abusing, neglecting or abandoning your children and are a good role model to them - you are being a fabulous parent!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/23/you-made-me-a-mother-video_n_4641465.html

I didn't get emotional and tear up like others described - but this is a great video for all mom's and those who want to be mom's

http://myrtlebeachbirthservices.com/five-things-say-cesarean-mom-three-things/
I have always dreamed of having a "natural" birth - even considering the idea of going drug free - but admitting that if I were in too much pain, I would be open to asking for meds.   Then I got pregnant with twins, and I knew that I could still have a "natural" birth, but I also knew my chances of having a c-section were greatly increased.   So starting at 8 weeks - when I found out it was twins - I worked on accepting the fact that I was likely to have a c-section. My biggest fear was delivery the first vaginally and then having complications with the second and having to go for a c-section.   I could recover from one - but I didn't want to recover from both.  Since I mentally and emotionally prepared myself, I wouldn't get bothered by people saying these things to me - with that, I do not always understand the people who opt right for a c-section for no medical reason (but back to the top article - I make no judgements, just a differing of opinions). My pregnancy was a wonderful journey with very little hiccups - but both my kids were breech the entire pregnancy, so a c-section was the delivery method - then my daughter went into distress a few times too many during stress tests and I had to have an emergency c-section and never even went into labor - never felt a single contraction. So even though I had a beautiful pregnancy and two amazing children, I do mourn over the fact that I didn't go into labor, didn't have a vaginal delivery and the fact that it looks more and more likely that I won't have the amazing pleasure of being pregnant again - and possibly having a VBAC.

New Feature: Wednesday's Web Round-Up

As some of you know - I drive an hour each way to work.   That is (at least) 10 hours a week I spend sitting in the car by myself with my mind going in a thousand different directions.   Im CONSTANTLY thinking of blog posts, but by the time I get the chance to sit in front of a computer I can't remember a single thing I thought about - and I literally have the entire thing written out in my head.   Ive tried recording my thoughts, but the problem is once I speak them out loud - my mind stops working and I can't remember everything I was thinking.

Anyways, I am always thinking about the blog, and recently I started to think about some different features i could have on the blog.   For instance I have lots of "short" thoughts - things that are too long for an fb post, but too short for a blog post - and poof - thoughts for thursday!  

But that will be debuted at a later week.  This week, I am launching "Wednesday's Web Round-Up". I'm not loving the title of this feature - so if you have ideas - let me know!   The general idea is there are TONS of things I read out there on the inter-webs, but I don't share it all because I don't want to hog people's fb news feeds (I do a good enough job of that with pictures and status updates).   Instead, I will save them up and share them, with some comments by yours truly, all at once on a blog post.   

This feature, just like any other feature I launch, won't be weekly - because I'm more realistic than to think Ill just magically have the time to blog - but hopefully every other week.  Who really knows though, maybe this will be the only one, maybe Ill get around to doing it every week... 

Anyways, without further ado - here are some of the interesting stories and videos I saw on the internet over the last couple weeks:

After Seattle's NFC Championship win, Richard Sherman has now become a household name - but not because of his play on the field, but because of his interview after the game.   I thought the same negative things about him that you all did - but you should all read this article as it puts him in a whole new light.

This is me through and through - all the way down to the nail biting...

I know I shared this on my FB feed - but it is totally worthy of another share.   If you are Jewish and participated in a Jewish youth group (BBYO, USY, NFTY, etc), then this is a must read!

Check out this adorable talking husky!  

Well, Ill leave you with those, and now that I have this going, ill get better about sharing good reads and watches :)

Lesson Learned...

I was looking for something to do today that would incorporate the theme of Martin Luther King Jr day.   After lots of thinking and getting ideas from others, I decided that the kids really are too young to really do anything this year - and we would just aim for next year, so I looked at the different options I did have today:

• Barnes and Noble had Monday storytime at one of the nearby stores
• We could schedule one of our makeup classes at My Gym
• Go to the Bucks County Children's Museum - where we are members.

I opted for the first one thinking that they would probably read books about MLK, and I would feel like Im somehow incorporating the theme of the day.   Well that was Strike 1 to today's outing.  They didn't even once mention that today was MLK day and for that I am EXTREMELY disappointed in Barnes and Noble!

Note that I said Strike 1.   Strike 2 to today's outing was that it was PACKED, and that is an understatement!   I ended up getting there about 20 minutes early, and I was going to just walk around since I had the time - except as I walked towards the general area, I noticed that people already had all the benches filled and some people were sitting in the center of the circle, so I figured I'd better find a spot and just hope the kids can sit the extra 20 minutes.

Strike 3 was the rude clientele.   This B&N is in a nice area - nice enough that you have a decent amount of your JAPs (snobby and pretentious).  Since it was already filling in when I got there, I found an area that I could "park" the stroller where it was still right near me and wouldn't be in anyone's way and there was room for people to get by, so at first the kids stayed in the stroller, but I unbuckled them, because I figured they would eventually scream to get out.   When they got out, we sat directly in front of the sroller, while the stroller was nestled between some book sections and myself, but I left a wide enough berth next to the stroller and myself for others to get through.   I watched a handful of people walk by me and eventually the circle was full, so the next person who came up, just sat down right next to me with her two kids and blocked the opening.  I personally thought nothing of it because there was no place left to go.  A couple minutes later right before the leader came to start storytime this mom tried to come by and started complaining out loud about the stroller blocking her way - except I should remind you - it was not the stroller, as that was nestled between "bookshelves".   She starts moving it so I turn around and look at her and she asks if its my stroller, and I said yes, and she said it was in the way so she was going to move it so she could get through.   I hesitated, but eventually stated that the stroller was not in the way and its pushed to the side, but she had already started to move it at that point, so I got up so I could unlock it and properly move it back the 2 inches of space it would provide.   She then came through and sat exactly where I was sitting with my kids so I had no spot.   I stood there in total disbelief and I'm pretty certain I mumbled something because she eventually got up and went back to where she was before and continued to bitch about my stroller.

Then her snobby friend came over and decided to just move it herself, except the stroller was locked, so she was jamming my $400 stroller around, that had the diaper bag and all of our belongings sitting in it - moving it over 2 feet and back 2 feet so it actually did completely block the aisle.   I stated that it wasn't in the way until they started messing with it, and i parked it there for a reason, because I had two little ones that were sitting in it previously and would prefer that it stay there so I could see it.  She just responded with some BS about how she will keep an eye on everything and I retorted asking her if she would leave her belongings with a total stranger.  With that, I had two toddlers to care for, and couldn't do much about it, so I kept turning my head to check on my belongings - but all I could see was the legs of this woman standing behind me, who clearly didn't have a view of my belongings and had no intention to keep an eye on them - so after about 5 minutes, I rudely got up and got all my belongings off the stroller so I knew no one was going into my bag - and she continued to just stand right on top of me.   At some point early on, she decided it wasn't worth it and left.  

We left after about 30 minutes when all the stories were over but before the fun with the music and games started.   It was too packed, those women pissed me off, and the kids needed more space, so i got them into the stroller (exactly the reason I had it there) and brought them over to one of the play-tables as I chatted with a couple friendly moms I knew from gym class.  I realized that also at the play table was the snobby mom with her kid.   The kid was playing at the table and the mom was sitting on the floor a few feet away playing on her phone. Eventually the kids all started to run their own ways, so I decided to leave and wished I had made the decision to go to gym or the museum, so lesson learning for me!.

Of course I still had a wonderful day with my kids - as are all days I get to spend with them - but I learned my lesson to never go to another B&N story time on a federal holiday, and just stick to the random ones I can attend with the kids or the other activities I can do on a holiday.  

You can feel free to go on Presidents Day - but don't say I didn't warn you :)  And if you do go, try to pick a location not filled with a bunch of snobby and pretentious moms. I personally will be doing something else with the kids - maybe Ill host my own play date :)

Letting go - and I little glimpse into my mind and personality

I have always placed my friendships and relationships at the top of my priorities.  I care deeply for those who I am close with - my family, friends and my co-workers whom I'm proud to call both my family and friends. In the last 10-15 years, there are two good friends who I lost friendships with.  One of these people was a best friend in my middle school/high school years and another was a close sorority sister.

I honestly couldn't tell you what happened to those friendships.  You know how some people just grow apart? Well that wasn't it (in my opinion). All the sudden, the phone calls and emails were rarely answered/returned.  And then they were never answered/returned.  I got the point, but I wasn't willing to give up, so I tried well past the "expiration date".  Even now, when i joined facebook and saw each of these individuals on facebook, I friend requested them.  Each of them accepted my request which actually hurt more than i thought it would. Now, whenever I see either of them post a picture, share a status update, comment on a friend's post, etc - I get this feeling of hurt and loss.    I know those friendships are over.  I know that they are different people and that we are at different points in our lives and have grown apart.  But its hard for me to accept.

Similarly I was with an ex-boyfriend for over a year when it really should have ended by 4-6 months.  I fell in love, and he was my first real love (unless of course you count Brett Merves - LOL).  In all that time, he could never tell me he loved me.   I knew it was odd, but I kept making excuses.  Eventually it got to the point that I started to push away when I realized we had no future, yet I still couldn't leave him.  Wanna know what the tipping point was?   You'll never believe it!  We went out for valentines day dinner and at the end of the meal he picked his nose.  Im not talking about rubbing an itch at the bottom of your nose - Im talking full-on nose picking in the middle of a nice restaurant, pulling a booger out.   And when I got mad at him and forced him to go wash his hands, he laughed at me and tried to put it in my face.   Yeah - defintielly past the point of needing to dump his ass - and so I prompty dumped him.

Anyways, back to the serious.  Most of the issue (IMO) is me being stubborn and strong-willed and not wanting to accept that I've failed at anything - even a friendship.  My therapist would disagree with that sentence though, specifically how I phrased it. Its not me failing, its just the relationship moving apart or ending.  Of course, he also says that me thinking that way is what makes me so strong and successful. I have a high bar that I set for myself - in everything that I do - and if things don't go the way I think they should, I consider that a failure on my part - even if I know I'm not the one failing.

Anyways, I have an issue with letting go.  I'm sure I've always known this, but its become more apparent to me in the last few weeks.  Everything can be going wrong, but I can't let go, I just want to fix everything - even if its to my own detriment just to help others.

No matter how much I know that I need to let go, and no matter how much I know that the inevitable will come, it is just too hard to accept.  

But those features are what make me such a strong person, a great mom, pet parent, neighbor, friend and employee.  I just hope that these are the traits I pass on to Sara and Nathaniel.  

And that they don't cause me to lose any more friends!

Dear A-Rod...

Dear A-Rod,

Let's get things straight - the entire world has known for years that you are a cheater and have no respect for the game of baseball.   The difference between today and everyday previous to today is that you made it clear that you aren't even a man.

Today 12 men accepted their punishments for using performance-enhancing-drugs.    I don't agree with the decisions they made, but they were caught and they pretty much said "yup, you caught me fair and square, I cheated and I will accept my punishment".

In addition, before those 12 men was another man.   A man who was previously caught and denied, denied, denied.    A man who got away with it because of a technicality.   Sounds like that could be you - right?   Nope, that man eventually got caught red handed and said "I realize now that I have made some mistakes. I am willing to accept the consequences of those actions."  That man not only accepted a suspension, he accepted a suspension that was higher than the suspension netted for a first offense.   A deal they made because of his actions during and after his appeal in 2011.

Those 13 men are all cheaters and have no respect for the game of baseball.   But they admitted their faults, accepted suspensions and hopefully will move on and right their wrongs.    These men are men.

You on the other hand are not a real man, you will join the legacy of Barry Bonds - a man who should be best remembered for his baseball legacy, but instead he is remembered for his shrunken balls (as his girlfriend testified to).  

Good luck with your appeal - I hope that MLB smears your "legacy" the way my children smear they food once they are done eating.

Sincerely,

Not-A-Fan

A (Major) Milestone Reached!

Yesterday I reached a big milestone for myself (and the babies).    For the first time in the almost 8 months since my children were born,  their liquid intake over the last 2 weeks has been exclusively breastmilk (they also receive “solid” food).     To many people this may not seem like a big deal, but for me breastfeeding has been a long and arduous journey.   

I had always had all intentions of exclusively breastfeeding (and pumping for a stored supply) while I was on maternity leave and then a combination of breastfeeding and pumping when I went back to work.    When I found out at 8+ weeks that I was having twins, I prepared myself for the chance that I might need to supplement.

With all that in mind, I always knew that breastfeeding would never be an easy road.    I read up on it, talked to friends and took a breastfeeding class.    I was prepared for possible latching issues, painful nipples, leaking boobs, wearing bras and nursing pads 24/7 and all that jazz.

My story ended up experiencing pretty much every bump in the road that could be there (latching issues, low milk supply, mastitis, etc) – and I definitely understand why people quit or never try – and I will never question’s anyone’s choice.    I do feel that you should go in prepared, and you should try, but if its not your cup of tea – than so be it.    There are plenty of people who were raised on formula from birth and are smarter than I.    There are MANY reasons why breastfeeding isn't an option – whether its that the mother has/had a medical condition that will not allow it or the child has a medical condition that they need specialized formula, or maybe it’s just not your lifestyle – whatever you chose, you will be choosing what is best for you and your child!

I had thoughts of quitting, but in the end always stuck with it – and I hope that I can and will continue to stick with it over the next 4 months before I finally start to wean, but anything can happen, and therefore the only promise I will make to myself and my family is that we will take it one day at a time and when the time is right, we will move on.

I could tell you all about SNS, Power Pumping, Breastmilk supplements, Low Milk Supply, but in the end it took the course of time, the “introduction” of solids (they've been on solids for 4 months), real solids like cheerios, the help and knowledge of lactation consultant, nursing/nipple shields, a handful of pumps and pump accessories, lots of lanolin, and LOADS of determination to get us to this point and no matter the rough days that are behind (and ahead of us), I am very proud of reaching this milestone.

What milestones, stories and questions do you have about breastfeeding and pumping!

Crazy Ass Dream

I woke up in the middle of the night last night from a CRAZY dream.    98.5% of the time I don't remember having dreams, 1% of the time I remember the basic idea of the dream, but I don't remember it, but then .5% of the time I remember the dream in detail - and about 18 hours later Im still remembering this dream, so I figured I'd blog about it - and I swear its CRAZY!   So hear goes:

I was in a library or bookstore or something of the sort checking out when I notice two people walk in with machine guns in their long black coats, so I snuck out of there before anything really happened (I was right by the door).   But apparently this bookstore or library was in a hotel I was staying at where I was part of a small meeting in a board room, so I immediately head to the boardroom to warn the people there - and two of the people in the boardroom are my best friend Nikky and her husband - and then there was an older gentleman who was running the meeting and a security person.   I remember thinking I wonder if I should tell everyone, because maybe they are involved, but I still shared, and the security person said they would radio it in, but the gentleman said not to worry about it, he would check it out.   So he left, came back a little while later to say everything was fine, but we were gonna stop for the day, and then he left.    I think others were also skeptical of him and we didn't really know what do, so Nikky and Jared decided they were gonna check it out, so I went with them, and we got close enough to start hearing gunfire so we ran, and I ran into a room, but then I saw them run past to the staircase, so I decided to follow and we ran down the stairs...

And then I don't remember much more.   I remember bits and pieces - like getting to a certain floor and knowing we were safe and looking outside and realizing I was in the staircase of my high school with the honeycomb windows and a nice spring day outside.   That was the last I remember of Nikky and Jared in the dream, but then I remember going back up to my hotel room (because remember the library/bookstore, boardroom in a hotel, staircase/high school and my hotel room are all the same building?!?!) and I saw the gentleman from the boardroom with a gun - and he was definitely a bad guy - and I made eye contact with him, but just as I ran into my hotel room to get cover.

And then I woke up...

So yeah - when I remember my dreams, they are pretty f'd up!   Wonder what a dream interpreter would say this crazy saga means.