Ahhhh! Can they just take a break?

So I have neglected my blog, specifically the IL related content, for quite some time.   For a little while, it was partially because of the pregnancy/new babies, but also partially because the ILs were just doing their normal crazy, nothing to justify a good blog post.

And in all reality, they are still just doing their normal crazy, its just driving me up a wall and Im so close to not keeping my mouth shut anymore!   Yes - you read that right, I amazingly have been pretty good about keeping my mouth shut - well, to them that is - my parents, husband and some friends still hear about it plenty.

Which leads me to the last month or so, and then the tipping point of today.  

We host Thanksgiving "dinner" and have done so since we bought our house.   The first year, the ILs came - all was good.   The second year, they decided we weren't good enough and decided to host a "competing" dinner and try to hide it from us.   This year, they aren't coming and spending Thanksgiving alone because we invited MIL's family.

Some background for those that don't know:  My MIL decided to disown her family for some unexplained reason before I came into the picture.   We have a relationship with them, which caused a big fight a couple years ago.   During that fight, the following things were stated (along with plenty of other BS):

• ILs said they don't care that we have a relationship with MILs family, just that we give them just as much respect (which we did)
• We said that ILs will need to learn to be in the same place as MILs family, because when we have a family, they will be invited to the big events then as well, so they should get used to it now by coming to the holiday parties and whatnot
• MIL responded with "Of course, we would never let that get in the way of family"
• They need to stop communicating via text, and then maybe I will stop getting into bigger "discussions" via email

The third point is so funny in and of itsefl just knowing why the fight was happening.   But I digress!

So back to the current time.    We invited MIL's sisters and their family, and one of them is coming and was also very gracious in helping us with Thanksgiving this year.    Before she RSVP'd, Adam talked to his parents and the topic of Thanksgiving came up, and they said that they will come if her sisters don't come, but if they do, they won't be there.   (Remember bullet 3 above??)  Fine - that's their problem, they are gonna have to learn the hard way!

Well then, Adam gets a text that asks when we are gonna bring the kids over to see them since they won't see them at Thanksgiving.  

UMMMM - HELLO?!?!?   It's your own choice to not see your grandchildren.   I am not going out of my way and re-arranging my schedule because you are acting like a 5-year-old.  

The text message further goes to state "This is the first time your mom and I are spending Thanksgiving alone in 33 years..."

HELLO AGAIN!!!   You have a place to go.   You were invited by family, so you can either be thankful for the family you have and come to the dinner or you can continue your childish antics and now start your 5-year-old hissy fit.

The good news is our way to handle this has been to wait until I can calm down and have something nice to say before we respond.   The bad news is that has still not occurred, so we haven't responded at all - which will just be another issue for them.

All was "fine and dandy" - I was happily ignoring them, but then today I got an email that stated they were celebrating Hanukah with a family dinner on Saturday, December 15th, and I quote,

"It is a Saturday night and we all don’t have to worry about getting up for work the next day and the kids can stay a little later. Mom and I will get the jelly donuts and do a main dish. Could you please bring a vegetable."

This email just sent me off my rocker.   In many ways, its a pretty innocent email, but here are my issues:

• How about you check to see if we are free on that date?   Guess what - we aren't!   We have a wedding to go to!
• Just because the adults don't have to go to work, does NOT mean we can stay out later - that is our choice to make! (Not that they have jobs that they get up for)
• Our 4 month old's are on a routine and know it quite well.   They have a bed-time, and although I don't mind pushing it a little and getting them ready while we are out, you do not have the right to tell me to do that, it is my own decision.
• We have dogs at home that we have to care for/keep in mind when we leave the house for either an extended period of time or during a time that is around thier meal-time.
• I can bring a vegetable, but if you are hosting a dinner, shouldn't you wait for me to offer to bring something and not outright tell me (at least thats my opinion - unless of course it is a potluck)

 I responded right away that the date didn't work and please let us know what other dates they were considering, but I was so annoyed from everything the past few weeks that I didn't keep my mouth shut about the staying later.   I did address it in a very nice manner - but they will never see it that way.

AHHHH - I really can't stand them.   Can't they just be normal and respect the concept of family and the holidays and be thankful for what they have instead of always causing trouble?!?!

I haven't deleted a facebook friend...until now...

I don’t let politics get in the way of friendships – well real ones that is!   I came to the point this morning where I let it “get in the way” of a facebook friendship, and it doesn’t bother me one bit, I just have to vent.

I have many friends and family who I disagree with politically, and I respect that they have their own opinion – that’s one of the great things about the democracy we have in this great nation.   I don’t necesarilly understand their stance, so I chose to respectfully disagree – typically by not getting into the conversation.

Yesterday, I posted a letter/article that I had seen online and thought was well worth the read.    You can find that article here (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/max-von-essen/trickle-down_b_2018106.html).    I have A LOT family, friends and facebook friends that are in a same-sex relationship – and it is my belief that they should not be treated any differently then those in a relationship with the opposite sex.   They should have the ability to marry their partner, get benefits with their partner, visit their partner in a hospital, walk down the street holding hands with their partner without being harassed, and all the other many things I get to do with my husband that I take for granted.

But that is not the only reason that I affiliate with the Democratic party and casted my ballot for Obama today.    Yes – I voted him (and others) because of his stance on this social issue and others such as womens rights, but I also voted for him because of my view on the economy, jobs, healthcare, the social welfare system and war.    I don’t necesarilly agree with him (or anyone for that matter) 100%, but I agree enough to have faith in him.  

So yes – I take offense when you try to tell me that me and my generation (in which you are a part of seeing as though you are only a few years older than I) shouldn’t base our votes on social issues.

It is our right as Americans to base our votes on whatever we chose and to express those views however we chose.   Just as much as it is your right to share your opinion with me, even if I do disagree.   Normally I wouldn’t let this get in the way of even a facebook friendship – I see political posts constantly, and I just scroll past them.   But, I take offense when over the past week, you have shown so much concern for your shore house because your husband spent the summer before doing renovations.    I'm sorry that you had damage to that house – but plenty of others have lost their one and only house or even lost their lives!    How about you stop fretting so much over a vacation home and instead focus on those who need our help!

What bothers me most, is that you vote and feel the way you do because of the family money you were born/married into.   You aren’t voting to protect what you have earned – you are just trying to protect what you were given.   I have a whole lot more respect for those that politically disagree with me, but are hard working americans who are trying to protect their “pot of gold” and their family.

That’s just my two cents!

Our newest additions and my MIL

Well I had the twins last Thursday.   They were born exactly at 36 weeks due to some concern about our Baby B.   More on all that another time though - this post is being sparked by an email received by my ILs (SHOCKING), and it was just too long for a facebook post, but it should be somewhat quick.

During my early morning pumping session, I decided to try to start to finally clear through some emails and I see the following email from my MIL from Saturday:

We are e-mailing rather than calling because we know how hectic this time can be.  Hope you are resting  and feeling wonderful.  We'd like to stop and  see our gorgeous grandchildren this evening around 6:00. 

Ummmm - why would you think Im gonna see an email?  Especially since you recognize this time is hectic.    I did bring my laptop, but it was barely used and they didn't know I had it.   They did eventually send a text, but I wasn't able to respond as I was in the NICU visiting my daughter, until later that afternoon and said it was okay, but they never responded and pretended not to see it until well after 6pm.    They decided to just come the next day and spent a whole 20 minutes there - arriving after my neighbors and leaving before them - so the combined total of their visits was about 60 minutes, only 20 of which was spent actually seeing their grandchildren - the other time they got there early and left pretty quickly because we were spending time in the NICU and they didn't bother to wait around.

I would bet lots of money (if I had it) that if our daughter was the one in the room with us and our son were in the NICU, they would have spent more time and made more attempts because they finally got their girl.    Don't get me wrong - Im glad they weren't around much, but my biggest concern about the possibility of having a boy and a girl was that it would be obvious that the girl would be favored more by them.    This still hasn't been proven, and who knows, maybe they just won't give our kids much attention at all since we don't put up with their antics, but I'm betting its the former...

Okay - well pumping session is over, and IM gonna go get a couple hours of shut eye before the next nursing session.

Baby Status Update

Its been QUITE some time since I wrote a blog post.   My intention was that when I went on maternity leave I could catch up with all those posts that were floating around in my head for the past few months, or even the ones I started before that - but Ive actually been staying away from a computer most of my leave.   I thought that I would be really productive during my leave, get the house cleaned, catch up on a lot of things that needed to be done, read some books, etc.   Instead, when not in a doctors office or the perinatology center for testing, Ive been spending most of my time with me feet up on the sofa, watching TV - which is even odder since Im totally content without a TV.   I guess Im trying to get all my sleep and TV watching in before I know I won't be able to do it anymore.

Anyways, tomorrow is 36 weeks!   36 weeks -38 weeks is considered full term for twin pregnancies.    Id like to make it to 38 weeks, specifically, my scheduled c-section at 38 weeks, 5 days.   I know it will take a lot of energy from me, but I don't have many complaints so far, so Id like to keep these babies cooking as long as possible.   

With that being said, tomorrow is a BIG day for me.   Not just because it is my 36th week, but because the morning is chock full of appts - any of which could end with me in labor and delivery.

The first appointment of the day is an ultrasound.   I am now going for ultrasounds every 2 weeks (although it could even go to every week), because Baby B is not growing as the doctors want.    At my last ultrasound at 34 weeks, Baby A continued to stay right around the 50th percentile (where its always been) with an approximate weight of 5lbs, 1 oz.    Baby B unfortunately has gone from the 24th percentile at week 28 to the 38th percentile at week 31 to the 17th percentile at 34 weeks, with an approximate weight of 4lbs, 1 oz.    The weights are all estimates, but there is a slight concern that Baby B isn't getting the nutrients needed, so if he/she has not put on weight since 2 weeks ago, then they will deliver these babies tomorrow.   If Baby B has put on some weight, just not what they want to see, then I will continue to go back for an ultrasound every week or 2 until I deliver the babies.   So let's hope that Baby B has started to take in the nutrients needed and put on some weight!

The next appointment is for my twice-weekly non-stress test (NST).    Last Monday, Baby B gave us a bit of a scare and had a deceleration at (the very end of) my NST, so I was sent up/over to labor and delivery for further monitoring.    After 4 hours of monitoring, the babies only showed lots of accelerations, and no decelerations, so I was released.    A few days later at my next NST, Baby B's HR dropped once again, this time not so low, but still of concern.    After the nurses discussed it with my perinatologist and OB, I was sent back to L&D for more monitoring.    After 3 hours, I was released with no concerns.    I had another NST this past Monday, and Baby B was nice to me this time and I was able to go home after the test - WAHOO!!   Because of that, I don't foresee the NST being an issue tomorrow.

The last of the appts is my weekly appt with the OB.   I don't foresee anything occurring at this appt that will send me to L&D, but with all these appts, I'm prepared for the babies to come as early as tomorrow.

With all that being said, I will put my thoughts out there as to my guesses for the babies:
- I think Baby B is a girl and my main reasoning is that I just think its a yenta and wanted to meet/have me meet the nurses in L&D.   Additionally I have started to really break out in my face and put on some weight in places other than my belly - which are typical "old-wives tales" for having a girl.
- I really think there is a boy in my belly - and since I think Baby B is a girl, that leaves Baby A to be the boy.    I'm not sure why I think this, just that I feel strongly that I'm carrying at least one boy - and with the history of my husbands family - it would be crazy for there NOT to be a boy in here.   Additionally, the way Im carrying is indicative of a boy (again, according to old-wives tales).

With those predictions, I still wouldn't be shocked to find out I'm wrong - although I would be slightly shocked (but still elated) to find out that there are two girls.

Anyways, lets hope both babies, specifically Baby B, continue to do well in the womb and get to stay in there longer.   And who knows, maybe Ill be better with the blog before the babies arrival, because lord knows I will be HORRIBLE with it after they come into this world.

Sodas vs. Lawsuits

The news came out today that New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is proposing a ban on sugary drinks larger than 16oz at restaurants, movie theaters, stadiums, etc.    To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about this - I wish the government wouldn't invade our choices like this and in all reality this still doesn't solve the obesity epidemic at hand.    You can still buy two 16 oz. beverages, or you can go to the store and buy as large a size as you want.    You can buy a 16oz. beverage and get refills.    Hell - you can ignore the soda, and order a milkshake - or you can order a burger and large fries.   There are plenty of ways around the soda where someone is still bringing in those calories, if not more.  

Its also not the governments place to determine what we should and shouldn't eat.   People need to learn appropriate nutritional habits and exercise routine.   Instead of spending the money to get this proposal passed and enforced, why don't we spend the money to really educate people.    And I'm not talking just about educating the kids - educate the parents, because that is where it starts.   Provide some sort of benefits to the companies that make this stuff, for them to make healthier options, or produce more of the healthier options.   Somehow encourage them to make the prices (and sale prices) equal between the healthy and unhealthy (or hell - make the unhealther more expensive).

This also may solve frivolous lawsuits like this Nutella lawsuit.   This lawsuit annoyed the crap out of me!   I love Nutella, and when I buy it, I know its a treat that I should eat in moderation.   And at no point did I ever think it was a healthy snack - but I also know those peanut butter and jelly uncrustables aren't healthy either!    It annoys me that Ferrero even settled - I understand why they did that, because its cheaper in the long run for them - because they never should have had to.   It opens up a whole can of worms for people to start suing food manufacturers because their food is unhealthy and they can't make their own decisions on how to eat a healthy diet.

I wish that people could just use their brains and stop trying to make a quick buck - and then the government wouldn't need to get involved with our tax payer bucks.

But then again, if that were the case, so much would be different about this world we live in...don't even get me started...

Happy Mothers Day and Some Recipes

I wanted to wish all the mom's and mom-to-be's out there a Happy Mothers Day!   This is my first Mothers Day where I'm celebrating.   I know not all people consider this a first since the babies aren't here, but to my husband and I it is my first (and in June it will be his first Fathers Day even though the babies won't be here (or they better not...they still have another 4-6 weeks after that to stay inside me).

Anyways, this year, we hosted a little breakfast for my MIL and SIL.    All went succesfully with no drama to speak of (yet).    And I made a couple new dishes that were a hit.

The first recipe is this Vegetarian Breakfast Casserole, which I had made before, both times with modifications.  

• This time, instead of making it in an 8x8, I made it in a 13x9 pan, so I increased everything 50% (8 oz=12 oz, 10 eggs=15 eggs, etc).   
• Just like last time, I added in "facon" (Morningstar Bacon that my husband and I have become HUGE fans of since my friend introduced it to us at a brunch back in January).   I used 1/2 package (8 pieces) - cooking them in a frying pan first and then crumbling it into pieces and adding them in after the veggies.   
• Instead of mixed frozen veggies, I decided to just use broccoli this time - buying chopped broccoli so I didn't have to worry about food size.
• And the last modification was totally by accident.    I realized when I was taking it out of the oven that I forgot to add in the cheese - OOPS!   But it was perfectly fine if you don't like cheese, but I will try not to leave that out in the future as I think it adds good texture and flavor.

The second recipe was the big hit.   I love the french toast breakfast casseroles that soak overnight, but there are so many good options out there, that I keep trying new recipes.   Well I think I hit the jackpot with this recipe!   It was super delicious - and the addition of ricotta cheese really made it perfect.    You don't have to make the strawberry syrup, you could just as well use regular syrup, but it was really good that I think Im gonna make the syrup just to have in the house for waffles (and I've got TONS of frozen strawberries that I defrosted and now need to use up.    I only made one modification, and I wouldn't quite call it a modification.   I had lots of ricotta in the house, so I just spread a nice layer of cheese over the entire top not measuring out 2/3 of a cup.    I probably ended up using about 1-1/3 cups.  

Lastly, we had bagels, and there was a pumpkin cream cheese I have been wanting to try, so I thought this a good opportunity.   I don't think anyone but myself took it, but I was pleased with it - and I have plenty of bagels left for me to eat it over the next couple weeks :)

Now off to enjoy the rest of the day.    I'm celebrating in the same manner I have for the past 8 years or so (although not always on Mothers Day).   I'm taking my mom to the Phillies game for their Mothers Day game.   Its always a fun time - but definitely more so if they win - so lets hope they get out of their slump and put together a few good hits, score a bunch of runs and get solid pitching from the starter AND the bullpen.

And then off to eat at the best BBQ joint in Philly - Sweet Lucy's - with my parents, sisters and their significant other and my niece.   So excited to give my mom her mothers day gift - BIG SURPRISE!!

Back with a Bang!

Note: I started this post about 2 weeks ago - just been too busy to finish, so when I refer to recent days, its really a couple weeks prior.

All my friends kept asking how things were with the ILs cause I hadn't posted anything, and I kept saying that things seemed to be going good and I guess maybe they were learning now that we have kids coming, that they needed to back off a bit.

I was just dreaming...

Or maybe it was the calm before the storm?

Really, I just should have known better.

We somehow have not seen them in almost 3 months, but Hubby has been getting better about calling them and/or emailing them.   But alas, there starts the issue.   It all started probably last Friday or Saturday...

Hubby got a call from his brother, at the same time I got an e-mail from my SIL.    BIL called MIL to say hi, and she didn't pick up - but she emailed him back some crazy email about how she was "decompressing" in the shower because its nice when no one can hear you cry, and its just been rough and blah blah blah, but they are so lucky to have BIL, SIL and their boys in their lives.

So after seeing/hearing about that, Hubby emailed FIL to see how things were doing and FIL responded with "In short, Not Good".    How does one respond to/handle that one?   So Hubby picked up the phone and called to see what's going on.

DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUH....the flood gates have opened..

• He got lectured about how they don't see us.   My counterpoints would be that a) invites work both ways and b) when they did/do invite us over/out, they only invite us when they know it doesn't work with Hubby's work schedule such as a weeknight that isn't Monday, or Saturday "dinner" plans at 3:30pm (he works noon-9pm Tuesday -Friday and 7am-5pm Saturday) - and whenever we tried to get together with them, they were ALWAYS "busy".    They just kept complaining about one thing or another - which we know there is no way to respond that will make them happy - so Adam said he was sorry, and we were just busy with work and preparing for the BABIES.   More complaining.
• The next day, we got an email from FIL.  MIL and FIL bought us the double stroller we registered for!   This is awesome - don't get me wrong, it was a pricey stroller and I assumed we might need to purchase it, but they let us know a few weeks earlier they were going to buy us our double stroller.   And to be completely honest, I had huge concerns that they were going to pick out some random stroller that we didn't want.   Although ours is expensive it hits 90% of my wants/needs.   The good news is they ordered what we wanted.   The bad news is to save a few bucks (which wasn't even the best savings they could do), they ordered it from one of the furniture stores we looked at and ordered it to be delivered with our furniture.   Issue #1: We haven't ordered furniture, and that place only had one set we liked and wasn't gonna provide as deep a twin discount as the other store, which had 4 sets we liked.   Issue #2: The delivery charge is being paid for by my parents who are very generously buying all of our furniture.   At least ask them before you add on to the delivery - even if it isn't gonna cost extra - it is quite rude in my opinion!
• A couple days later was MILs bday, and I realized the night before that I never sent out a card to arrive on her bday, which has always been a big no-no.   So we figured we were in trouble.    Hubby called on her birthday to wish her a happy b-day and we seemed to get off with that.
• But then the day after MILs bday, Hubby got a call from MIL complaining about how I don't call her and give her constant updates on my pregnancy after each doctors appt.   When she was pregnant with hubby, she called her MIL and gave her updates.    Ummmmm - where do I even start with this one??   A) If you want to know how I am - call or email and ask!   We never had a good relationship once Hubby moved in with me and my parents.   MIL has NEVER called me directly, and I have surely returned that favor by never calling her directly.  And B) What happens at the doc is my health information.   There is no reason I should feel like I need to update her - especially when I'm closer with co-workers than I am with her!   Congratulations to her for having a good relationship with her MIL (of course Im fairly certain that was just her fakeness, because I know she talks about Hubbys mom-mom negatively) and being close enough to call her and give her constant updates.   But I am COMPLETELY different from my MIL and have a totally different personality, so she shouldn't EVER expect me to be the same as her or do the same things as her.   And for that matter, no one should ever expect that from anyone - we are all different and do things differently!
• The very next day, I sent FIL an email inviting him to the Phillies Picnic in the Park that I get tickets to as a season ticket holder.    I knew he wouldn't be able to go because I had already found out when I invited SIL, that MIL and FIL bought tickets to a show for my nephews and were taking BIL and SIL with them as well.   But I wanted to make sure I put the invitation out there in case he found out that I have offered to most of the rest of the family.    In my email, I explained that we get two tickets each year, and that Hubby and I went the first year, but that we try to share the experience with family members as well.    He replied back saying he couldn't go, but maybe next year.   This is a small issue, but one I take great annoyance to!   If someone offers you free tickets to a concert and you can't go - are you gonna assume that the offer will be there again?   That's a rude assumption to make!    We will have two infants next year, and I can't wait to take them and get lots of pictures of them in the clubhouse, in the dugout, on the field, etc.    Why would you assume you are gonna get this offer next year??  
• And finally 2 days later (3 days after MILs bday), the expected phone call finally arrived.   Hubby got yelled at by FIL for not sending a card.   The most ironic thing is the BIL got a call on MILs bday about how it would be appreciated if the kids actually called MIL on her bday.    The issue being THEY DID, and MIL didn't pick up so they left a voicemail - so BIL confronted FIL and FIL said they have no expectations that we do XYZ and that they send us cards and whatnot because they want to, but its not expected in return.    Oh really now?  

In hindsight, I wouldn't change a thing though!   I much prefer 3 months of quiet and calm and a week of their craziness every 3 months versus seeing them once a month (or more often - AHH!) and having to deal with the pain of the entire experience plus whatever backlash/fights come out of it (because you never walk out of there without some issue to arise from it).

Of course, we invited them for mothers day breakfast at our house, so Im sure there will be more stories to tell after that - because we very rarely see them without a story coming out of it.    Things are only quiet when we don't see them at all :)

P.S. You think since we will see them mothers day, we can get away with not seeing them again until the babies are born?   That's under 3 months :)  Once the babies are here, how long do you think we can hold off after each visit?   I know we will never get away with 3 months again :(