Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A typical visit to the ILs

So, we went to the ILs this past Sunday to celebrate Hanukkah, and I wanted to share what a typical visit with them involves when you aren't getting yelled at:

- We arrived 20 minutes late (I used to always be places early, with 2 kids in tow, Im always late now :/) and they had the front door locked and we waited a few minutes before they finally came and let us in.    Who locks the front door when they are expecting guests?   Especially when 2 carloads of guests already arrived?

- We walk in the door, each with one hand carrying a car seat (and baby of course!) and the other carrying bags of gifts, and the first thing that happens is MIL pushes her gifts onto us.   What happened to most peoples tradition of sitting down all together and exchanging gifts - typically AFTER you sit down and eat. 

- We sit down for lunch/dinner (2:30pm meal) and the first thing MIL does is hand each person - including a 7 and 3 year old, a bag of chocolate.    Ummm - I know grandparents spoil kids and all - but how about we eat first?

- When we start eating, they have lasagna out, but the chicken wasn't ready - and didn't end up being ready until 3pm - an hour after we were supposed to sit down.   When the chicken finally came out, it was enough for about 2-3 people - and there were 9 adults (albeit 2 barely eat much) and 2 children (not counting the babies).

- As I'm in the middle of feeding Sara, MIL encourages my nephews to open up the gifts we bought them and then has them start taking things out of the bags and bringing them into the dining room where I am.   SHE couldn't wait 10 more minutes for me to finish feeding my daughter and for us to go into the den where the gifts were and give them to the kids.   So instead I was scrambling to figure out who's gifts were who's and had to pass Sara off to Adam to get fed - but Adam didn't pick up on the "finish feeding part" so our daughter was jipped (I of course realized this and eventually finished feeding her)

- During the 2+ hours we were there, there was about a dozen or so times that they made it clear how much they haven't been a part of their grandchildrens lives and tried to make us feel guilty (we don't - its all their fault).

- The next day I got an email thanking us for the gift we made them and saying they are glad we could come to celebrate hanukkah and how it was "better late than never".   Mind you it was STILL Hanukkah and I know a ton of other families that celebrated that same afternoon.

It doesn't sound that bad individually, but add it all together and its just incredibly frustrating.   I ahve no clue how they raised 2 boys - and how those 2 boys are great, successful adults.

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