Monday, November 19, 2012

Ahhhh! Can they just take a break?

So I have neglected my blog, specifically the IL related content, for quite some time.   For a little while, it was partially because of the pregnancy/new babies, but also partially because the ILs were just doing their normal crazy, nothing to justify a good blog post.

And in all reality, they are still just doing their normal crazy, its just driving me up a wall and Im so close to not keeping my mouth shut anymore!   Yes - you read that right, I amazingly have been pretty good about keeping my mouth shut - well, to them that is - my parents, husband and some friends still hear about it plenty.

Which leads me to the last month or so, and then the tipping point of today.  

We host Thanksgiving "dinner" and have done so since we bought our house.   The first year, the ILs came - all was good.   The second year, they decided we weren't good enough and decided to host a "competing" dinner and try to hide it from us.   This year, they aren't coming and spending Thanksgiving alone because we invited MIL's family.

Some background for those that don't know:  My MIL decided to disown her family for some unexplained reason before I came into the picture.   We have a relationship with them, which caused a big fight a couple years ago.   During that fight, the following things were stated (along with plenty of other BS):
  • ILs said they don't care that we have a relationship with MILs family, just that we give them just as much respect (which we did)
  • We said that ILs will need to learn to be in the same place as MILs family, because when we have a family, they will be invited to the big events then as well, so they should get used to it now by coming to the holiday parties and whatnot
  • MIL responded with "Of course, we would never let that get in the way of family"
  • They need to stop communicating via text, and then maybe I will stop getting into bigger "discussions" via email
The third point is so funny in and of itsefl just knowing why the fight was happening.   But I digress!

So back to the current time.    We invited MIL's sisters and their family, and one of them is coming and was also very gracious in helping us with Thanksgiving this year.    Before she RSVP'd, Adam talked to his parents and the topic of Thanksgiving came up, and they said that they will come if her sisters don't come, but if they do, they won't be there.   (Remember bullet 3 above??)  Fine - that's their problem, they are gonna have to learn the hard way!

Well then, Adam gets a text that asks when we are gonna bring the kids over to see them since they won't see them at Thanksgiving.  
UMMMM - HELLO?!?!?   It's your own choice to not see your grandchildren.   I am not going out of my way and re-arranging my schedule because you are acting like a 5-year-old.  
The text message further goes to state "This is the first time your mom and I are spending Thanksgiving alone in 33 years..."
HELLO AGAIN!!!   You have a place to go.   You were invited by family, so you can either be thankful for the family you have and come to the dinner or you can continue your childish antics and now start your 5-year-old hissy fit.
The good news is our way to handle this has been to wait until I can calm down and have something nice to say before we respond.   The bad news is that has still not occurred, so we haven't responded at all - which will just be another issue for them.

All was "fine and dandy" - I was happily ignoring them, but then today I got an email that stated they were celebrating Hanukah with a family dinner on Saturday, December 15th, and I quote,

"It is a Saturday night and we all don’t have to worry about getting up for work the next day and the kids can stay a little later. Mom and I will get the jelly donuts and do a main dish. Could you please bring a vegetable."

This email just sent me off my rocker.   In many ways, its a pretty innocent email, but here are my issues:
  • How about you check to see if we are free on that date?   Guess what - we aren't!   We have a wedding to go to!
  • Just because the adults don't have to go to work, does NOT mean we can stay out later - that is our choice to make! (Not that they have jobs that they get up for)
    • Our 4 month old's are on a routine and know it quite well.   They have a bed-time, and although I don't mind pushing it a little and getting them ready while we are out, you do not have the right to tell me to do that, it is my own decision.
    • We have dogs at home that we have to care for/keep in mind when we leave the house for either an extended period of time or during a time that is around thier meal-time.
  • I can bring a vegetable, but if you are hosting a dinner, shouldn't you wait for me to offer to bring something and not outright tell me (at least thats my opinion - unless of course it is a potluck)
 I responded right away that the date didn't work and please let us know what other dates they were considering, but I was so annoyed from everything the past few weeks that I didn't keep my mouth shut about the staying later.   I did address it in a very nice manner - but they will never see it that way.

AHHHH - I really can't stand them.   Can't they just be normal and respect the concept of family and the holidays and be thankful for what they have instead of always causing trouble?!?!


  1. I have learned over the years that bedtimes need to be non-negotiable for some kids, and only the parents can decide that. It seems like once you aren't the parents having to deal with cranky kids that are out too late, you forget that it can be a big issue. I didn't understand it myself until I had my own kids.

    What a shame you can't make it for their command performance. lol

    You know how I feel about everything else. :)

  2. who stole my student? The Lynda I knew NEVER held her tongue, and I certainly encouraged it!

    BTW: just be you, let them suffer 'till they see the light. I think you have been gracious...